The Weight I Carried Wasn’t Just Physical
I’ve never really liked the word “overweight.”
Because technically, for most of my life, I wasn’t.
But in my mind? I always was.
Too soft. Too puffy. Too bloated. Too much.
And never quite enough.
Not small enough.
Not strong enough.
Not disciplined enough.
Not worthy enough.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever stared at your closet and thought, “Nothing fits, and even if it does, I don’t feel like me in it…” then friend, you’re in the right place.
Because this isn’t just about jeans or the number on the scale.
This is about identity.
And I’ve lived on both sides of that struggle.
I Come By It Honestly…
My mom was 5 feet tall and weighed 95 pounds when she got married at age 30.
And in her mind, that number was sacred… like it was the measure of her worth.
So I didn’t just inherit her blue-green eyes or her fierce love for her family.
I inherited her pressure.
Not the 5-foot frame.
Not the 95 pounds.
But the belief that I should always be a little bit better than I am right now.
A little thinner.
A little more successful.
A little less emotional.
Just… better.
When “High Functioning” Becomes High Pressure
Recently, a former teacher reminded me how involved I was in school — clubs, sports, leadership, volunteering. I was everywhere. Always doing.
I laughed politely.
But inside, I was thinking, “Yeah. I thought if I did enough, maybe I’d finally be enough.”
That constant striving?
It didn’t just show up in my report cards or resume.
It followed me into adulthood. Into motherhood. Into my weight.
2020 Wasn’t Just a Pandemic for Me. It Was a Full Body Breakdown.
In a span of months, I:
Lost both of my parents
Watched my son battle addiction and enter rehab
Sold my childhood home
Switched jobs — twice
Tried hormone pellets (spoiler: I regret it)
Had a hysterectomy
Started a business
And hit perimenopause like a hormonal freight train
And somewhere in the middle of it all, I stopped recognizing myself.
Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.
I wasn’t sleeping.
My rings didn’t fit.
My brain was foggy.
My clothes didn’t zip.
And for the first time ever, I didn’t just feel off…
I felt invisible.
My cousin, who I dearly love, that has also shared some of the same struggles
“Try These eye drops.”
“No, Thanks Doc. I Need Answers.”
Every symptom I brought to a provider was dismissed with a prescription:
Hot flashes? Sleep with a fan.
Brain fog? Here’s some Xanax.
Dry eyes? Artificial tears.
Mood swings? Try Zoloft.
No one was asking why.
No one was helping me see the bigger picture:
Estrogen was dropping. Cortisol was spiking.
I wasn’t broken. I was unbalanced.
And the girl who’d spent her whole life looking for “better” finally used that trait for good.
I stopped asking for another pill.
I started asking better questions.
The Mirror Moment That Changed Everything
Last May, at our Worthy Women’s Night at church, I was the heaviest I had ever been.
Including pregnancy.
And I felt anything but worthy.
But there I was — surrounded by women singing, crying, worshipping — and the theme of the night was Worthy.
God doesn’t waste an opportunity, y’all.
I sat there in my uncomfortable jeans and my uncomfortable body and heard Him whisper:
“Your body is still My temple.”
“You are still My daughter.”
“You are still worthy — even here.”
The Mirror Method Was Born
I didn’t need a new diet plan.
I needed a new identity.
So I did what I now teach other women to do — I started talking to the woman in the mirror differently.
Regard
I got honest. Brutally honest.
“You’re not taking care of yourself. You’re numbing.
You’re exhausted. You don’t even drink water, girl.”
Not to shame myself.
But to see myself.
Because healing doesn’t happen in denial.
Reflect
How did I get here?
Loss. Hormones. Grief. Over-functioning.
And a whole lot of people-pleasing.
Reframe
“You don’t hate your thighs.
You hate feeling like a stranger in your own skin.
But those thighs can walk you into your healing.”
Restate
Instead of, “I hate my legs,”
I started saying,
“Look at you. Out here again. In shorts.
Moving your body. Loving your life. You’re doing it.”
But… when it comes right down to it, It’s Not About the Shorts.
It’s About the Shift.
Once I started making better choices — the little ones — the bigger ones followed:
Blueberries over Fruity Pebbles
Omelets over frozen pizza
Water with lemon over Diet Coke
Essential oils over synthetic perfumes
Saying “yes” to me again
Every decision built momentum.
Every choice rewired my belief.
And now?
I don’t treat my health like a punishment.
I treat it like the privilege it is.
If You’re Still in the Struggle…
If you feel like your body is betraying you…
If you keep saying “I’ll start Monday” but Monday never feels doable…
If you’ve been living in a body that doesn’t feel like home…
Start by looking in the mirror.
And talk to her like someone worth saving.
Because she is.
And so are you.
✨ Book a Consultation with me.
Let’s get your labs, your mindset, and your body on the same team again.
You don’t need another diet.
You need a reset rooted in truth.
